Have you ever been so annoyed-irritate-angry by your circumstances that you would rather revel in the muck of your own disappointment than have anyone or anything make you feel better?
Its like wanting to live in Mirkwood (for those of you who haven’t read Lord of the Rings, trust me, its not a very nice place to live, unless you are an elf). Gollum felt relatively comfortable there! So as I sat momentarily indulging in my self-inflicted wallow… my Bible was staring at me – promising comfort and conviction – neither of which I particularly wanted.
I am of the opinion that great relationships only become great when you are able to communicate openly and honestly. God has been working on this with me for a while…
With red eyes and a spiteful heart, I violently grabbed my Bible off the table and yelled at the Lord, “Fine! But I’m going to play the silly game and let it open wherever it wants to… then You can speak to me through it.”
God must laugh at us. Over the fact that I yell in my momentary light affliction, and then presume that my spite could challenge God. At this moment it merely opened the door for God to speak in to my life – I opened my Bible to Lamentations 1. I couldn’t help but smile at the irony – I was lamenting and God chose to remind me that He is good and faithful and understanding and compassionate.
So I began reading and was forced to recognize the truth – I am loved and my life is blessed. Even though there is great moments of pain and sorrow… God’s Mercy is new everyday. His Light shines into the darkest corners of my soul – reclaiming every corner of my life. New Mercy… its what we need.
Here is a song that speaks to my soul and expresses exactly what I mean… (the youtube is a little funny, but the song sounds great.)
I thought that I had crossed the line
Walked away from love one time
I thought I’d used up all the grace
Set aside for my mistakes
On my knees I found to my surprise
That your mercy renewed with the sunrise
You make Your mercy new every day
You change my life in so many ways
You cradle me in Your sweet grace
You fill me
Yesterday, today, forever more
There’s one thing I know for sure
Fresh as the morning dew
You make Your mercy new
Oh the wasted times that I have known
A prodigal away from home
Every day Your grace was multiplied
With forgiveness waiting to provide
To save the entire world
How much grace would it take
When the sun comes up
There will be enough