Today for Yesterday… Never.


We all wish we could go back… Take back… Change a response… Take the right instead of the left… Speak up… Stand up… Shut up… Wait… Listen…

But what’s done is DONE! Gone. Finished. Behind us.

Just like the morning mist on the valley creeping through to wake up the flowers for the day – each morning brings NEW opportunity to start fresh.

I wouldn’t trade today for 100 yesterday’s.

“His mercies are new everyday.” 


Online Dating Round 2: “Rejection”

Rejection*Note… this is about me! So laugh with me and hopefully learn something.

I have been rejected many times.

  • I didn’t get the part in the play I wanted.
  • I didn’t get the job… last time, I didn’t even get the interview! I applied for 25+ different jobs at Amazon WHILE I was contracted there… and I didn’t get a single interview.
  • I submitted articles to magazines – rejections.
  • I am about to submit a story for publication… and I fully expect initial rejection. (It is quite common to have to resubmit stories and books to many publishers before someone will take a chance on you and your idea. Others who have experienced literary rejection Madaleine L’engle, Stephen King, Beatrix Potter…. just to name a few of the many <Read the BuzzFeed article HERE for More.)

However, relationship  rejection pulls on a different section of the heart.(Pause so you can remember… but not linger!)

With an online dating app the rules have changed a bit… thankfully the delightful Online Dating App designers have made rejection even easier with per-fabricated “rejection” messages which include lines such as…

“Thank you for the message but I don’t think we’re a match.”

“No, but thank you for asking.”

Then if you really don’t want them to contact you again, there is the harsh but necessary “Block” button.

I leave you with the following, hopefully helpful, rejection guidelines.

Miss Mae’s Rules

on

Giving & Receiving Rejection

  • Rejection is not the end of the world.
  • Be nice! Just because they don’t appreciate us, doesn’t mean that we need to call them names… in your head, out loud, and especially NOT on social media.
  • Silence is not helpful. Show some maturity and respect by responding.
  • We don’t need to beg for attention.
  • We mustn’t lash out when our interest isn’t reciprocated.
  • Remember, the person on the other side of this interaction is made in the image of God and deserves to be shown respect and kindness.
  • Once its done… WALK AWAY! or Run. Literally. It helps. (As in go work out… the endorphins will help you feel better faster.) 

Online Dating Profile Pics: Good Ideas & Bad Ideas

*NOTE: I am not criticizing anyone in particular… I am offering advice based on my perusal of many profiles online and getting feedback and opinions from my friends. My hope is that this will actually help a few people put their best foot forward!

fat face selfie

GOOD IDEAS and BAD IDEAS

For Your Dating Profile Pictures

In the App Dating World, your picture is your first “Hello” and your first “Handshake” – the pressure is on! Recently, I saw that there were 2,400+ people on an app at once. Statistically we are all attracted to 10% of the population! I would be attracted to 240 of them simply based on looks! (Yippee!) Just think – YOU are in someone’s 10%.

I’m here to help you make better choices when posting 1st impression.

Good Idea – Posting a photo of you in a cool location with a pretty background. (Examples of cool background: The outdoors, trees, mountains, reflective windows, etc.)urinal

Bad Idea – Posting a photo of you in your bathroom… or worse a public bathroom… WITH Urinal or Toilet in view. JUST DON’T DO IT! Even if the bathroom mirror is the best on in the house… find a friend to take your photo. Trust me, a blank wall is better than toilet back ground!

 “Urinals or toilets distract from your natural  attractiveness.”

~ Annie Mae

Good Idea – Pictures that You Like of Yourself – laughing, smiling, thinking… not photoshopped! The real you is beautiful! Be confident in the person God has made you to be.

snow white selfie

Bad Idea – “The Fat Face Photo” – EVERYONE is able to take this photo. Its the photo that makes our chins double up and our cheeks fall forward. Most common way to create this photo is to look down at your camera, or lean your head back into your shoulders. I send these to my siblings FOR FUN! However, they are just not attractive.

Good Idea  – Pictures with friends or family! This is especially important if you have kids because they are a huge part of who you are and will be a key part in a future relationship.

Bad Idea – Posting pictures that are obviously taken with your Ex… doesn’t matter how you have mange to cross out, blacked out, or cut out your ex. Just DON’T Do it!

If the pic contains any of the below just don’t POST it!!!

  • scantily clad pin-ups in the back ground
  • your prison cell
  • you in or on your bed
  • pics of you getting high or drunk
  • Police mug shots

I highly recommend getting friends to help you! Have fun and let those who love you help you put your best face forward!

Online Dating Round 1… “Let’s Meet” or “The Rose & The Fedora”

After a week of conversing online with an interesting, Jesus-loving, blogger… the opportunity presented itself to meet in person.

Some details…

  • A date at an airport is a GREAT idea.
  • Being greeted with a flower is always romantic.
  • A flower being held by a man wearing a fedora = WIN!fedora

 Even though we were not MFEO (That’s relationship speak for ‘Made For Each Other’) = This date was a success. I met someone who was interesting, quirky, and classy. Conversation was easy and we are on our way to being friends. He made me feel special and I hopefully encouraged him. 

rose

Valentine’s Day: Obligation or Opportunity

Guilt, manipulation, obligation, duty, stress, consumerism, and a stupid invention of Hallmark and Cadbury; These are the words that I have often heard people associate with Valentine’s Day.  TIME Magazine understands how you feel and can give you an entertaining and brief history of the commercial side.

Fact: Selfish people impose a sense of material obligation on their significant others. (Seriously… stop catering to this.  Confront this kind of behavior as you would a 7 year old… or break up, it’s NOT going to work.)

Historical FACT: St. Valentine was a Martyr who died for His faith. The holiday (albeit with the help of capitalism and clever marketing) is actually meant to be a remembrance of his passion for justice, his love for God, and willingness to defy the emperor so that young love could marry.

THE OPPORTUNITY

This Holiday is a perfect opportunity to show people around you that you love them. Encourage them! Give cards that make people smile. Like these!

Valentine-Collage

Give your Dad some candy and buy your Mom flowers. If you have a significant other – you hopefully know how to show them you appreciate them. You do this not because you HAVE to, but because you WANT to. February 14th is the perfect opportunity to SHOW love.

Goodbye 2015

>Deferred Hope = God at workIsn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…

– C.S. Lewis

This has been more true for me in 2015 than any other year.

It began with passion, adventure, hope of love, and the Proverbs to guide me.

Corporate America hired me! Learning skills and paying bills took a prominent role for the year. God’s faithful provision in those 40 hours a week made it challenging to be content and disciplined every day (I am still working on this… maybe I always will).

I found Love like I have never known because I became an Aunt. With prayer and joy, we welcomed my nephew, Seph. The delight of our family heart.

I wandered the Oxford streets and English country side. Explored Cambridge and the Cotswalds where my heart began to dream again.

Hope deferred makes the heartsick; my “Say Anything” man dismissed me in Willoughby-like manner ( except with much better morals), leaving my Jo March self feeling shockingly like Marianne Dashwood. Heartache moved in and tried to setup house.

Momentary light affliction breeds contempt or gratitude; In His mercy my response was a humbled thankful heart.

The Psalms, Madeleine L’Engle, Catherine Marshall, and Kate DiCamillo have been working together to mend my heart, bringing tears, light, and laughter on this leg of the journey.

Stories end, hearts change, and the Word of the Lord endures.

Goodbye 2015, “I would not wish you back again.” ~ Yet another Jane Austinism.

Today, January 1, 2016, my heart is strong because my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus.

My Fickle Relationship

Me this morning:

“Seriously?! Texting is not a substitute for real conversation! It’s a tool – the modern day telegraph. Going to the store. stop. Thinking of you stop. Movie on Friday? stop.” 

This statement was followed by more venting about the laziness of my generation! Our lack of personal communication has resulted in an insane proficiency to use “text speak” such as ‘LOL’ and ‘BRB’ with an emoji to express all emotion. We have brought acrostics to an impressive form of ambiguity where a term like “TTYL” can mean “I will use my voice to speak to you in person later today” or “I’ll text you another day so that you know we are still ‘friends'”.

TODAY: I forgot my phone!

To calm the panic my self -talk said, “Calm down self, I’m fine. You can totally text people from your work phone and let them know. Besides, you are still connected via social media, and all 5 email accounts, Skype, and IM.” 

I made it through the day, texting only slightly less than normal.

One of the first things I do when I get home after work: Delighted Outburst: “My Phone!!! This is the key to future relationships!” 

I’d say I have a fickle relationship… with my phone.

phone love

Emma Watson, Feminism, and Faith

emma watson UNEmma Watson, the brilliant, young British actress who we fondly know as Hermione from Harry Potter has won the hearts of people around the globe once more. hermione gRather than winning us over with the studious perfectionism of the faithful and fictitious friend, she stood in the doorway of the world and won our hearts again, this time as herself with the confident compassion of a young woman who wants freedom and equality for men and women everywhere.

With her opening Speech to the UN, she took the United Nations  and the rest of us by the hand and lead us to a better understanding of a the cultural misconception of feminism.

I agree feminism is often said synonymously with man-hating. This is always a bad thing. Watson, thankfully, pointed out that it by definition certainly is not!

Definition: fem·i·nism
ˈfeməˌnizəm/
noun
noun: feminism
“The advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men”

By definition, I most certainly agree with this feminism Watson speaks of. We are created different and equal. My absolute favorite part of her speech was her acceptance and encouragement of gender. The recognition and need for equality is absolutely necessary, but not at the cost of negating how God made us.

Just recently I was told at work by an off-handed conversation, “The sooner you give up your preconceived gender ideas, you’ll be a happier person.” (This statement was full of so many imposed thoughts and presupposed ideas, I hardly knew how to respond.) My response was to politely and firmly say, “I like being a woman.” That was the end of our conversation.

Watson’s call for action should echo in the hearts of Believers around the world. As Christians we know the Truth that we are made in the image of God, male and female. Too often Christians have used gender to condemn, control, or demean, when that in no way represents what God had in mind. As Sons and Daughters of God we have the same possibility for power, strength, beauty, and wisdom living inside of each one of us. Women and Men are created with the same purpose as God’s people meant to do good!

I agree with Watson, I want to see a better world in my lifetime with equal opportunities for all of God’s people around the world. It starts with you and me treating one another with Truth – Man and Woman – God created us. Now lets act like it. man and woman holding hand

Insights from the Cube #1 – The Power of Affirmation

Office-Cubicles2

We are adults and as adults we should understand that there is no reason for us to get high-fives and gold stars just because we sent an email to the right person by 3pm. There isn’t anyone at your place of employment who is going to pat you on the back because you finally understood what engineering was talking about when they referenced that one coding issue. (However, I actually am impressed when that happens.)

Those are lies!

We might know that affirmation isn’t coming in the form of raises, plus signs, or donuts. This doesn’t change the fact that we actually NEED affirmation in order to confirm the personal success along the way.

Do you realize the power you have as an individual to empower your colleagues to feel more successful?!

Yes, you! You may not have any ACTUAL power to change anything. You may not have any authority. But by simply saying, “Hey, nice job leading that call.” Or “Your email today had just the right words.” Or “Your report is in on time, well done!” You have just spoken life into your colleague’s otherwise dreary and unsatisfactory day.

Think about how much better you feel about a task when someone actually says, “Hey, thanks for doing that.” (Don’t get all sarcastic, thinking, “What? I was just doing my job.” Instead, take the encouragement.

Say, “Thank you.”

I dare you to try this on your next shift. Acknowledge someone’s small success and give out a gold star. But be careful, you might actually find yourself being sincere and interacting with people in a positive way! (Just wanted to warn you.)

15 Personal Facts

Why 15 facts??? Because a good friend sent me that facebook personal fact thing and 15 is half of 30. (Read on and you’ll find out why that is important. Also, tomorrow is the 15th and a very important day!)

 

30_birthday_collage

1. I’m turning 30 tomorrow! (Hence the reason for 15 personal facts – because my birthday is on the 15th.)

 

2. I wake up everyday with joy – simply because Jesus loves me and I know it.

 

3. My siblings are the most creative people I know. (If you’ve met them, you know its true!)

 

4. I just started taking piano lessons!

 

5. I played roller hockey for 4 years.

 

6. My soon-to-be sister-in-law has named me “Honest Annie” for obvious reasons.

 

7. My favorite number is 73.

 

8. My first kiss was when I was about 7 because my friend and I wanted to know what it was like. She and I agreed that we would grow up to be good kissers 😉

 

9. I studied Christian Apologetics for a year at the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics in Oxford, England.

 

10. I’ve been in love and had my heart broken… and my life is deeper and more beautiful for it.

 

11. I’ve been babysitting/nannying for 18 years.

 

12. I am ridiculously fond of my orange cat named after the british pottery, Denby.

 

13. I find four leaf clovers all the time.

14. I have insatiable curiosity – I never run out of questions.

 

15. I have more fun on the average day than most people I know… because my life is extraordinary!