Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. ~ Proverbs 13:12
This verse has always haunted me.
I never wanted to understand what it really meant for hope to be deferred so much so that your heart felt sick.
I was too busying focusing on the possibilities of fulfilled desires.
Future plans were taking root in my trees of life.
I had no time to spend time pondering the other outcomes. Besides… I always hoped my heart could be an exception, that I could love without the heartache, that success could come without failure.
The day comes… choices are made… no heart escapes.
Then in the aftermath… your heart sinks, your stomach twists, you go through the motions of the day one task at a time… a fog settles in on your mind and the world around you loses its color.
The storms of life came through and your “Wait-and-see-trees” were uprooted.
Whether through heartache, failure, or death of a dreams… once you’ve experienced any of these, you understand.
You just… know.
Hope deferred… “Ohhh… That’s what that means.”
Like a dandelion seed with no where to land… moments and minutes… time doesn’t seem to matter. “Time heals all wounds…” But the heart doesn’t know that. It doesn’t matter how many cliche, helpful, thoughtful words of wisdom and encouragement are said…
“You’ll get’em next time.”
“It just wasn’t meant to be.”
“Doors close… windows open.”
“You’ll find someone better.”
“Shake it off.”
All the while… your heart is begging all the well-intentioned voices to just leave you alone.
I offer you no well-meaning, flighty words to help you through. But rather I share what I am learning –
Faith and Forgiveness are the only way to find future hope.
In God’s timing… seeds find soil and we start planting new “Wait-and-see-trees.”
…desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”